Today was my first day back at work in over a week. Now it really feels like a new year, and work is cranking right along. But hang on a moment! I've been waiting, patiently, for many things, and for a long time. Another year has ticked by and I never expected 2008 to bring flying cars or jetpacks or anything like that, but seriously, where are the following innovations?
- Where’s my refrigerator with a barcode/RFID reader for inventory management? When I pass food items through the fridge door, the system should make note. Why can’t the LCD screen outside on the door warn me when the milk is about to expire, or the leftover Chinese food I tagged myself with disposable self-stick barcodes two weeks ago is toxic now? How else can I check to see if I’m low or out of something if the big box commanding my kitchen can’t tell me? Opening the door and rooting around inside is so, well, 1950s.
- While we’re at, where’s my microwave with the same barcode/RFID reader? Why can’t I just wave the little package in front of the microwave and have it program itself? I didn’t make this up, I know these things are out there. I assumed I’d need an Ethernet connection to download the latest barcodes and RFID signatures, so I built my house in 2000 with an Ethernet jack just below the microwave (and one behind the refrigerator, too). But all seems quiet on the connected appliance front. Come on now, it’s not like I’m trying to get a self-unloading dishwasher.
- Why can’t Tivo offer a one hour buffer instead of just 30 minutes? I could hack my DirecTivo HR10-250 to do it. I can probably use the same code to hack my Tivo HD, too. Come on, Tivo, storage is the least expensive it’s been in years and I’ll happily give up space for the gigabytes of kid shows occupying that buffer space now.
- Why can’t I pay for things with my mobile phone yet? Everyone in Japan has done this for years. In fact, they can buy Jack Black (see photo above) right out of a vending machine with their phones, so if the technology is secure, inexpensive, and scalable, where is it in the US?
- Why do children still die in cars when they’re left alone in the vehicles in the heat? Google, you seem to solve everyone’s problems, how about this one? How hard is it to put something into a car to detect movement, a heartbeat, weight in a carseat – and set off an alarm or automatically roll down the windows when the temperature exceeds a dangerous level? If Ford can make a car which can park itself (never mind BMW has offered this for a few years already), why don’t we have methods to protect passengers who can’t speak for themselves?
- And where are U-Turn signals for cars? This idea may be older than me!
- I really want the new house I’m building to be as green as can be. Australia has dual flush toilets everywhere. Why doesn’t Home Depot carry ANY (not even one model)? Sure, they have one posted right now on their web site (it’s perpetually out of stock). Try to buy one in a local store. Take a tape measure to see how far the plumbing department’s representative shoots their eyebrows into the air when you ask for this. My favorite is how they advise you to just jiggle the handle to simulate a lesser flush. I thought Orange was going Green?
- And this last one is reaching because it’s new, but wow, I sure would like some photovoltaic solar window tinting. I’ll have East/West facing windows in Florida primed to capture electricity to help power my home (or feedback onto the grid). I’m already going to have to tint the windows anyway, why not juice ‘em from the outside?
I’m not asking for anything weird here. All of these are possible. Will 2009 be the year?
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